Posts Tagged ‘conversation’

Half a conversation

April 22, 2012 Leave a comment

Hello? … who’s that? … Oh, hi. Yeah, it’s her phone … Well, the ringtone don’t work no more so I only know if there’s a call if I’m looking at the screen … Yeah, well it was throw the phone across the room or slap her, and I weren’t going to slap her even if she was a bitch … ‘Take the phone and get it fixed,’ she said, so that’s why I got it. Then she punched me in the mouth. That’s not right, is it? She shouldn’t of done that … So I’ve had it since last Friday, took it to the phone repair place on the market and he said the board’s split. Said it would take him a couple of days to get a replacement one in stock so I’m going there now … You want to give the phone back to her, bro? Yeah, after I get it sorted, but I’m not in town right now … Look, I’m not in town, right? My dad was in a car crash last night. Soon as the phone’s fixed I’m going to see him in hospital … I dunno, it might be a while. This evening maybe … Look, I can’t call you on this phone, there’s no credit on it … Just call me later, okay?


Don’t ask me, I was on a bus a couple of days ago. The guy a couple of seats behind me was having this conversation, of which I only heard his side (indeed the whole bus heard his side, he wasn’t exactly keeping his voice down). I can only infer what had happened, but I’m conscious that inferences based on half a conversation can be completely wrong. For all I know he was rehearsing  lines for a soap opera with another actor on the other end of the line. Or maybe his life really is full of everyday soap-opera drama? At any rate, bus journeys are sometimes intriguing.


Random conversation

October 3, 2011 Leave a comment

I had a fairly surreal conversation earlier this evening in which we reached the slightly strange, if sensible, conclusion that it is almost certainly not possible to do line-dancing to Combichrist.

No, I don’t know how we ended up discussing that either. But now someone’s probably going to post a YouTube video and prove us wrong…

Conversation, earlier this evening

October 19, 2010 Leave a comment

We had the TV on in the background and there’s an old pop music programme playing Don MacLean, American Pie.

V: ‘I always preferred Vincent.’

Me: ‘I never liked that one, I thought it was a dirge.’

V: ‘How can you say that? It was a sensitive song about a great artist!’

Me: ‘It was a sensitive song about a great artist but it was also a morbid dirge.’

V: ‘But think about the goth music you listen to, that’s morbid and dirgelike!’

Me: ‘Yes, but I only like morbid dirges when they’re ironic and postmodern.’

[Both collapse laughing.]

Jazz cow?

October 3, 2010 2 comments

I was sitting in a cafe the other day, ostensibly reading a book. And there were two young women, probably in their late teens/early twenties, on another table. I carried on reading – well to be accurate, I had half an ear open as I usually do in public places – until a phrase caught my attention.

The essence of their conversation was that one fancied some young man, but was complaining about another woman who was constantly at his flat, on the phone, at the same parties as him and so on. The second woman was reassuring the first that this man really did like her and wanted a relationship with her, and her description of the ‘other woman’ was along the following lines:

‘She’s the one who’s always around him because he’s patient and he listens to her troubles and problems, and half the time she just invents them so she can have his sympathy. She’s the jazz cow in this situation.’

Which gave me me a nice little phase I might pick up on at some point in some future writing.

Turns out it’s in Urban Dictionary, that wonderful repository of people’s colloquial inventions – but lots of stuff in UD is virtually private language, only ever shared by about three people. The definition given is:

A name given to someone who is really annoying but you don’t wish them to know so.

Which, given the context, only loosely fitted what the intended meaning seemed to be. Has anyone else ever heard this term actually used in conversation?

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